Hello World

New things

2012-01-03T23:57:00.001-05:00

I picked up a coffee table someone left out on the street. I know it was a take-away, but I kept waiting for someone to come out and say; "Hey! What are you doing with my coffee table?" Its just right and I'm going to put beautiful tile on the top. I've been watching a lot of those home improvement shows where they put glass tiles up in the kitchen—so I figure I know how to tile now. I haven't had a coffee table in the living room before; so I'll probably spend the rest of my unnatural life with bruised shins.

My friend Jeannie got me a GPS for my car for xmas! I can't believe it. I may be the one person on earth that needs it the most. I even use it on three mile trip to work and back. I like listening to it and seeing the little car going down the road on the screen. With my double vision, it helps me find the ends of the roads in the dark. Even my seeing eye dog LOVES it. He likes knowing how far we are from home.

I got myself a dart board for xmas and put it up in the back room at work. The club house is getting better all the time. I've got an oil painting easel, sign making tools, crafts table, mini kitchen, and now a dart board too. I never have to be bored.

New photos up on my Dog grooming site

Ha ha! You know you're old

2011-11-12T22:29:00.002-05:00

if you just spent ten minutes bitching about a two minute stop light!

Space Station

2011-10-29T19:50:00.003-04:00

Ellen and I went out to watch the space station go overhead. It was huge, I guess I forgot how far away the stars are. I was surprised that it was bright gold and so steady when it went over. I'm glad we went out to look.

Right now we're having a snow storm?? I don't mind if we get some nice tropical weather in February; but so far I feel like I moved to Montreal.

BUSTED!

2011-08-17T21:12:00.002-04:00

Driving with an expired license.

"But officer I forgot that driving without a license was a crime…"

So pretty

2011-06-12T17:41:00.001-04:00

Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T18:18:00.001-04:00

I watched a clip of the royal wedding and I think the Minister of the Department of Silly Hats should be proud. What a shining accomplishment. Will they make him a Knight?

Spring keeps her promises

2011-04-03T12:50:00.000-04:00

Hi

2011-04-01T15:33:00.001-04:00

Hi how are you doing

In Other Words

2011-02-28T12:42:00.002-05:00

A word is not a crystal,

transparent and unchanged; it is the skin

of a living thought and may vary greatly

in color and content according to the

circumstances in which it is used.

—Oliver Wendell Holmes

PRINCIPIA

2011-02-08T00:07:00.003-05:00

Don't worry if you don't get it—I crack myself up

eyelid speculum

2011-02-06T11:16:00.004-05:00

Yes, unfortunately it's true. There is such a thing as an eyelid speculum. Eeeeewww!

I had emergency eye surgery for a detached retina this week. Unlike other people I know that had dainty laser procedures for torn retinas—mine involved eyelid speculums, freezing probes, ice cream headaches, air injections, fluid removal and lots of things inserted INSIDE my eyeball! Holy mother of Bob! Who thinks up this crap??? I thought they were joking when they told me what was coming. I'm lucky I got out of there before somebody decided to let an alien worm crawl in my ear and through my brain to take care of it.

It was surprise surgery, so my friends Susan and John came to get me and my car at Tufts in Boston. I waited in the car because I wanted someplace I could moan in private. I'm tough with a ridiculous pain threshold, but my pain-o-meter was through the roof. The first order of business when settled in back home was to find a Vicodin. Thank God I broke my ankle! (long time ago–saved the pills)

Now I'm supposed to lie down on my right side for three days. I hope typing with my head tipped over counts…

It's good to have a pet cow

2011-02-06T10:26:00.002-05:00

Can you lift a 150 lb dog?

2011-01-14T10:42:00.003-05:00

I knew that Golden Retrievers come in jumbo size sometimes, but I groomed one the size of a Shetland pony yesterday. OMG! He was bigger than the Bernese Mountain dog, Sullivan, I've groomed twice. When it's time to get on the table, Sullivan puts his paws on there and holds steady while go around the back and boost his rear end up. But the Golden Retriever and I took our bath together and then I had to figure out how to get him on the grooming table. He is the sweetest most patient dog I've groomed yet, but he's too long to pick up by putting one arm around his chest and one somewhere under the back end. He wouldn't leave his front paws on the table. There was no one around to help. Remember—we're both dripping wet. Suffice it to say; I would be the next YouTube sensation if someone could have caught it on video. And for all you wimpy athletes out there working on six pack abs—I'm working on a seven pack. Owweeeeee!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-02T12:31:00.005-05:00

Christmas and New Years Eve were so relaxing this year. I didn't make any plans and ended up strolling through three parties on xmas eve and two on xmas day. A wild new years eve was spent with my neighbor having Bailey's and taking turns using the foot massager she got for xmas. Bet you wish you were there. That's how to spend a holiday.

To everyone's surprise my dog grooming business is growing FAST. I knew it in my gut. I actually felt like the location needed a little 'community' service biz right next to the town grocery store. When it's slow, I make little felted dogs that I sell in the shop or think of inventions to hold dogs comfortably, store supplies, filter dog fur out of water—and air, portable shower curtains. We have an old display case that some past tenant left in the building. I use a lot of recycled hardware and grommets. I find grommets truly inspirational.

I knew I'd love the work. Every new dog is an individual and I can't wait to get my hands on the next one. I love it that I'm starting to know them and what each one needs to be patient for their grooming. I'm taking pictures of all of them. Their first stop is the tub and we spray the dirt off and then you've got a sweet smelling dog to hug. I could use some foul weather gear though. There may not be a way to wash a dog without getting soaked that doesn't include hip boots, a full jacket and a hat. Oh yeah, probably goggles too.

Everyone is happy to see their transformed dogs and I feel accomplishment and reward and I can go home tired and happy to paint at night without worrying about money.

I wish everyone I know could feel this way. All of you with careers that have faded away, pick something you'd really love to do and GO FOR IT! When I decided to do this, a friend had to teach me how to groom dogs. When I saw the location I wanted I didn't have bill money. I cancelled some house repair plans I had and did some house painting for other people to buy the equipment. I'm still using borrowed scissors. The furniture came out of my house. There are a few piles of stuff at home that used to have furniture or shelves under them and blank spots where chairs are missing. I painted my signs on old barn board my neighbor gave me. Then I sat in the shop, wondering what else I should be doing to advertise and how scary is this going to get?

I love it!

Thank you to Deb and John for helping and encouraging me, helping me plan, carpet moving, linoleum moving and installation, quasi plumbing and for putting Kyla through dog grooming school! Thanks Kyla for helping me plan, teaching me how to groom dogs and hanging out with me when there were no dogs in sight. Thanks Ernie for not repairing my house and Ellen for being my bank so I wouldn't spend the equipment money on dumb things like food and bills. Thanks to Jeannie for being one of the select few to get excited with me and the one who said; "I know it's going to work." Thanks to Sandy for hiring me to do house painting so I could earn money for equipment when she knew she could hire someone else to do it in half the time. I noticed.

Back to basics

2010-12-03T11:34:00.002-05:00

Sitting in the shop

2010-11-07T10:59:00.002-05:00

I got up too early today because of the time change and I'm sitting in my little grooming shop. While I'm here, when it's not busy, I can do my computer work, or paint or work on the things I sell. Then I started thinking about that. How many different things I do. I opened the shop so I could have a rest—hang out with dogs and have a day job. Something odd about opening a shop to get a rest. When I go home I'm done. I can even leave all my projects here. Not the painting though; I like to paint by the fire at night. Plus—do I really need dog hair texture in my paintings?

All I have to do for my shop is show up and try to outsmart dogs. They're so sweet. Some of them are trusting and happy. Some of them are scared and need a hug and reassurance. Even the growly biting ones have a soft spot and will love you if you find it.

Puppy v.s. soap and scissors

2010-10-26T18:42:00.000-04:00

Go to the Wellspring Pet Grooming site and see our latest customer!

http://wellspringgrooming.blogspot.com

Another new business!

2010-10-24T13:05:00.000-04:00

Being an oil painter has required a day job lately. Trying to think of something you really want to do isn't always easy. I have a theory that if you decide what you want to do and go after it, whether it's impossible, unlikely, foolhardy or really hard, is the secret to happiness. That's why I'm an oil painter.

But I also like having enough money, so I'm creating a day job. The self-employment thing has been one of the conditions of my life. I just can't go someplace at a certain time and work for somebody else. How do people who do that ever get to the gym or the post office? How do they ever stay up really late? I just don't get it. So here's what I did.

I did give it some little clubhouse touches so I'll like being there. It's only been open for eight days. We get giddy every time someone comes in or calls. I think it's going to be fun. I love dogs and cats and I think when I go home after work I'll have a clear head from looking into all those soulful eyes and I'll be able to light a fire and paint. That would make me very happy.

New portraits

2010-08-20T14:34:00.001-04:00

Bunnie

Puppie

Briny

Sparki Goss

Maggie Goss

Berserk plants

2010-06-29T12:01:00.001-04:00

Have your plants gone berserk?

My strawberries are big and sweet and warm and juicy and about two weeks early. The spinach has been excellent, but also a couple of weeks early and has gone to seed already. I'm eating delicious Swiss chard every day. There are beans, peppers, eggplant and tomatoes starting on all the plants. My blackberries are already ripe. At least they're too early for bears. Blueberries are out and the flowers are amazing. But what's going on? I have a few Chrysanthemums starting to flower and those usually flower in October if I remember correctly.

Can there be a hole in the ozone layer over my yard? I'm starting to wonder if I should replant a second crop. Will my yard become a jungle or turn into the the great 2010 dust bowl of Summer Street?

Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Carried Away—again!

2010-05-27T17:24:00.001-04:00

We just got back from another book reading/signing. This time, instead of a book store, it was at the Heritage Towers Senior Center.

Kate and a friend

Lois and Kate signing books

All proceeds benefit the Postal Employees Emergency Relief Fund. Copies are selling at an alarming rate, so If you are interested in buying a copy; do it here
http://carriedawaytruestoriesblogspot.com

Carried Away—True Stories from Postal Carriers Across America

2010-05-27T17:09:00.000-04:00

How exciting to do our first book reading/signing at Bertram and Oliver Book Sellers in Amesbury, MA

The hairy one is Briney Berkenbush, our spokesmodel and a mail carrier's best friend…

All proceeds benefit the Postal Employees Emergency Relief Fund. Copies are selling at an alarming rate, so If you are interested in buying a copy; do it here
http://carriedawaytruestoriesblogspot.com

The rhubarb that ate my house

2010-05-27T17:07:00.000-04:00

Strawberry rhubarb garden

LAZY Sunday

2010-05-23T15:27:00.000-04:00

Oh dear… The party started at two in the afternoon, and I didn't get to bed till 3:00 am. Friends and food and wine and a campfire. Gelato cake—my new favorite. I was supposed to be at the gym at 10:00 this morning. If they called me I didn't hear the phone.

What a beautiful day. You gotta love summer. i saw the first hummingbird at the feeder. I'm going to weed the garden (sitting down) and then read a book in the hammock. When I smell one of my neighbors grilling supper, I'll drop by with a jug of nice fruity ice tea and try to look really hungry. Hope nobody reads this until after supper.

I love it that when our neighborhood starts to get all shady, I can look up and see airplanes, so high up that they still reflect the sun. I love airplanes. I even love airports. From the minute I leave the house I feel like someone just yelled "Road Trip!"

Glorious day.

Ha, Ha! Squirrels fear me!

2010-05-15T12:52:00.000-04:00

It's true. Now that I can trap squirrels and I already own a chainsaw, if I buy a snowmobile, they'll let me move to New Hampshire—but enough about my intellectual pursuits…

Spill of the day

2010-05-14T17:00:00.000-04:00

May 14th 12:45 am Decided I needed more vegetables in my life. Watching a video, I gave a can of V8 a big shake and popped the top. Good movie. Five minutes later, I went to give the can a big shake and pop the top…

Three Squirrel Day…

2010-05-14T16:30:00.000-04:00

Three squirrels entered my witness protection program this Tuesday. If they can find their way back, I'll move and they can have the house. Three times I heard the cage rattling and pretty much put on a hazardous materials suit before touching the cage. Oh sure—they're cute and fuzzy when they're tearing your house apart or digging up your new garden, but up close they have dagger claws and hurl squawky little insults.

Vitamins for the elderly

2010-05-08T13:59:00.000-04:00

According to my friend John, Vitamin I is the thing—Ibuprofen…

I am officially elderly. Out on a sidewalk I told a teenager to: "Put that cigarette out and pull up your pants!" Hee, hee… I've been wanting to do that for SO LONG. His first reaction was a teenage look of mild fear of authority, but then he managed enough composure to spit out the standard two word answer. It was totally ineffective because he wasn't ready with it right away. He's gonna have to work on his delivery unless he wants to seem like Peewee Herman.

Squirrels are evil

2010-05-06T12:15:00.000-04:00

I'm obsessed with gardening. I've been gardening full time for a month. We had such warm weather, I dove in and figured I could get a lot done before the mosquitos came out. I started seeds in the house and although it was supposed to be too early, they're all outside, happy and growing like crazy.

I planted veggies and herbs, hostas and lilacs, irises and then I went around and planted Nasturtiums on everything that couldn't run away. my whole yard is going to be yellow and orange and red for the hummingbirds.

There's an opening on the back of my house way up on the third floor. It used to have a cover over it it and the squirrels got it off and they're living in there now. This time of year, there's probably little baby squirrels in there. I think I saw one, but I'm not sure. I got out my binoculars to get a good look and a huge squirrel popped his head and upper body out. He stuck his paws out and I'm pretty sure it waved to me.

Earth fights back

2010-04-17T15:14:00.000-04:00

Isn't there something primordial and spooky about volcano clouds halting air traffic?

The results are in

2010-04-15T10:45:00.000-04:00

Thanks for taking the time to let me know which paintings are your favorites. The Veil, The Kid, Marsh Storm and Fade were the top four, in that order by a huge margin. All the others fell behind in a group. I'm trying to decide if I want to repaint the Veil because I believe I can improve it—or show the Kid, because it is more my style and the only one that isn't sold. A little bit of a commercial/non-commercial thing going on there.

My favorite is Feathers, lucky rocks and plastic baby. I can't sell it.

As for my arrest poll:

The #1 crime, with seven votes, was mouthing off to a police officer. ME?

I was a little surprised by how many people remembered my plot to paint an extra leg on the heron on the Seabrook Nuclear Power Plant welcome sign. That was a long time ago. Nevertheless, #2 was defacing public buildings, including one charge of defacing of the Statehouse with a "beautiful, but controversial" mural. (Thanks Deb!)

#3 was trespassing. Ok, there's one I can agree with. I'll go anywhere to see something odd or pretty that I want to paint. I got caught photographing in the old Danvers mental hospital before it was converted, but they only threatened to arrest me if I came back. It was the end of the day and I was getting kind of spooky anyway. So many people have blocked lovely oceanfront views or vistas with their houses. I should be able to look too. All are welcome to come view the weeds in my yard or to use the hammock…

Kate Drury suggested I might go berserk and get arrested pouring cream into the coffee makers at Dunking Donuts. That's just silly because I never go to Dunkin Donuts. I like Common Grounds, Andy Man's and Paul Newman coffee from McDonalds. So I don't know where she would get that idea!

I am proud to say I was not suspected of any traffic violations.

Personally, I think I am most likely to be arrested for taking the baby Jesus from the Christmas creche around the block from my house. Every time I pass by I am reminded of that joke where you steal a lawn gnome and photograph it traveling the world. I know it would be considered evil and offensive by many, but I get horizontal vertigo and have to fight the wheel when I drive by. I can almost hear it calling me. Could be the voice of God. Maybe he wants me to figure out how to photograph the baby Jesus in North Korea or someplace. Mysterious ways and all?

Note to self…

2010-04-01T17:18:00.000-04:00

Close car windows driving on busy roads with large puddles.

Are you ready for April Fools day?

2010-03-30T13:38:00.000-04:00

I'd like to suggest a discreetly placed elastic band around the kitchen faucet sprayer. Trust me…

I need objective opinions

2010-03-30T13:37:00.000-04:00

Help! I need your opinion. I'm entering the biggest art show ever and I can't decide which paintings I want to show them as my entry. Will you please let me know the top three in your opinion?

Click on the kid to see the paintings

Thanks!

Has this ever happened to you?

2010-03-23T14:08:00.001-04:00

I was up late last night spring cleaning. I 'forgot' the last two years; so now it's a really big job consisting of taking everything out of a room, washing everything, throwing about a third away and then putting it back in. I think it's going to take me a week if I do the cellar. It seems kind of dumb to have empty shelves, but I've got a thing about clean closets. My rooms might be messy, but you could eat in the closets—although I don't want to give the impression that I do that—because I don't. I digress:

I got up tired and I wanted that cup of coffee. I put the coffee in the filter and grabbed the jug of water out of the fridge. It seemed lighter than I remembered, but who keeps track of stuff like that? Right? I poured it in the coffee maker and realized it was the milk that I had just poured in there. Crap! I poured the milk right back out again into a cup because I needed it for the coffee, causing the coffee grinds in the front of the coffee maker to pour out at the same time, into the milk and all over the counter and sink and floor.

Now I really NEED the cup of coffee so I poured the milk through a strainer, put on the teapot and used a Melita filter to make the cup of coffee. It didn't taste right. Not enough milk either. Blah. No joy.

Now it's really late for lunch and I'm hungry, but I'm afraid to go back in there. Anything could happen. Someone could get hurt. It's all fun and games until you put your eye out with a sandwich or something…

Monsoon is here

2010-03-15T16:54:00.000-04:00

Wow! We're having a northeaster and we've had 10" inches of rain since yesterday. At least it's nice and warm. I didn't even realize there was a problem until my neighbor called me to make sure everything was alright at my place. I checked the attic and the cellar, which is always a good idea in a really old house and everything was fine. I went out to the gym and to buy some milk and it was like a ghost town. Kind of nifty.

There were new lakefront properties in my neighborhood and the water was running down the street so fast there were rapids cause the street drains popped their covers. The police put up roadblocks down by the river and on my street. My friend Diane showed up to use my computer. Her twin eight year old girls and I took a toy kayak and a plastic sled and slid down the rapids to the bottom of the hill in the dark. We screamed and laughed our asses off. Problem was, that when we got to the bottom, the sled didn't float and toy kayaks don't really keep you dry anyway. So all three of us got in trouble—but when we went out, Diane said; "Wear your boots!" She didn't say a word about not going swimming.

Ha, ha Diane! You KNOW better than to let your kids play with me!

Excellent photos to follow! Right now my camera and Simms card are opened up on the table drying…

Life

2010-03-09T18:45:00.001-05:00

Life is short—use your xmas lights

Oooops!

2010-03-09T18:18:00.000-05:00

Today was a nice day. I got up late. Happy to be rid of the worst cold in human history; I hung around the house, played on the computer, sent email, packed up some stuff I sold in my store.

Toward the end of the afternoon I realized that I had better hurry out to the post office before it closed. I grabbed the packages, my camera, a prescription, library books and the shopping list. I am a master of multitasking. Made it to the PO on time, dropped off the books, picked up the prescription and stopped to take photos of a little old building I noticed last week that I want to paint. While I was walking up and down the side of the road trying to get just the right angle, I had to be careful not to drag my feet because I was getting sand in my slippers—Oh crap!!!! I forgot to put my shoes on!

Now, at least they're not bunny slippers, but they are faux leopard fur and I was wearing bright red fluffy slipper-socks. The whole ensemble was a little attention getting. Aaaargh! Why oh why didn't I go to the grocery store first? Now I KNOW I look like an escapee from some type of institution, I'm too far from home to go back for my shoes and it's a huge grocery store where I always run into people I know.

At least everybody I passed smiled at me today…

Monsoon

2010-02-25T16:41:00.000-05:00

It's been rainy and dark outside for days. Nice and warm though. I'm SO glad you don't have to shovel rain. After our rainy then hot summer last year, I've decided that the Gulf Stream is changing really fast and we're going to have another monsoon season this spring and summer. We're ready…

Don't try this at home kids.

Food Inc.

2010-01-31T15:21:00.000-05:00

Wow! Go see this movie!

Wonder why you can't lose weight? I've been eating diet food and pounding away at the gym thinking about it. More likely corn subsidies have been causing part of the problem.

Who knew?

Goodbye

2010-01-26T13:41:00.000-05:00

And they left as mysteriously as they arrived…

anorexia

Mysterious arrivals

2010-01-22T13:05:00.000-05:00

Yay!

2010-01-20T09:54:00.000-05:00

I sold another painting! It was in David's Tavern of all places. Whew! House insurance, car insurance and electric bill!

Je suis désolé

2010-01-20T09:40:00.000-05:00

Woe. I didn't think I'd be this devastated.

Massachusetts! You replaced Ted Kennedy, the last champion of people who really need a voice, with another 'leave no millionaire behind' republican.

I bet hell has mountains of money. Ski

I got a new chainsaw

2010-01-19T12:33:00.001-05:00

Next an axe. Live through that…

Hell on earth.

2010-01-16T10:01:00.000-05:00

So Haiti is hell right now. A nightmare. A brain and heart numbing tragedy.

It's giving me panic attacks ever since I saw an Anderson Cooper report about "stupid deaths." The bureaucracy organizing itself while people are dying. Then, they show a food drop from a helicopter and watch the big guys run over mothers with dehydrated babies to take the food and water for themselves. There are people 'looting' looking for food—under the circumstances that may fall into the category of hunting and gathering. What else are they supposed to do? There are also guns firing, thugs raping and running with televisions instead of looking for survivors.

It's making me crazy. Why is my mind sticking there? It's not the time for justice. Maybe it's too hard to think about the broken sufferers.

Support?

2010-01-16T09:52:00.000-05:00

No, seriously… Does anyone know of a support group for people who can't take their xmas trees down?

World War Three…

2010-01-12T12:29:00.000-05:00

… has begun.

Better put your word in before it's too late.

http://www.savetheinternet.com/fcc-comments

In my opinion, there are so many knowledgeable young experts out in the world of the internet, that if the phone and cable companies decide they can control the internet for their own profit, their services will be stolen and their networks hacked. They should save us all the trouble of 'the third world war', because they will end up with a handful of ether.

Eggs

2010-01-06T14:24:00.000-05:00

I was taking eggs out of the carton to make a pot of hard boiled eggs so I would eat breakfast before the gym more often. While I was doing it, I stuck my thumb through one of the shells. Being as quick witted as your average telemarketer, I dropped it into a nearby coffee cup. It was too mushed for a poached egg, so I decided to stir it up, sprinkle it with a touch of mozzarella and put it in the microwave for one and a half minutes to see if it would come out good enough to eat. I looked back around a minute or so and was horrified to see it expanding way up over the coffee cup. I grabbed it out of the oven and there I had a soufflé. It was excellent. That was weird.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-06T10:22:00.000-05:00

Yay!

Now I have to decide how long to keep my xmas tree up. It's still pretty and fresh. I can keep watering it. Not as if there's a law about it. If I move it away from the window, nobody going by will know. I could add red bows for Valentines day, hang little colored eggs on it for Easter, disguise it as a Maypole, Flags and bunting for the Fourth of July…Somebody please stop me

How far tradition? "Alice's Restaurant Massacree"

2009-12-20T12:34:00.000-05:00

Who has holiday traditions? Family traditions, parties, xmas trees, food, dress, gifts, songs—it goes on and on. Most of my traditions are secret. Actually, in my life, holidays are discretionary. Am I in the mood? Do I want a xmas tree? How many people will be at my house in the days before and following the holiday? I'm single, so my holidays are spent at other people's dinners and parties. Who's going to be there? What's for dinner? I have felt very sad driving home from yet another xmas eve party all by myself, but that's about it. I love driving in the snow and I've seen some very unusual things on that drive home—but that's pretty much a whole book.

In Massachusetts, we have a tradition that is genuinely dear to my heart. I won't miss a second of it. During that drive to my holiday destination, at noon, the radio stations—ALL the radio stations play "Alice's Restaurant Massacree" one of Arlo Guthrie's most memorable works. For those of you not familiar with the song, it is over eighteen minutes long and is a rambling story about Thanksgiving dinner at Alice's, in Stockbridge MA, including Arlo Guthrie's Thanksgiving day, 1965 arrest —for littering. Luckily, officer Obie was able to apprehend the suspects and photograph the unholy abomination. Unfortunately, the stack of 8" x 10" black and white glossy photos, with details in notation were wasted, because the judge happened to be blind. However, that's not the punch line. Fifty dollars later and back home in New York, Arlo reported to the induction center with his draft notice, where he was determined to be too immoral to go to Vietnam to kill men, women and children, due to his arrest record.

It will make you laugh whether you want to or not. I want to know; do they play the song where you live?

Later it was rumored to be the 18 1/2 minute gap in Nixon's white house tapes…

Annual passive aggressive holiday stroll

2009-12-19T13:05:00.000-05:00

It time! Today is the day I luxuriate in window shopping amid the bright lights and tacky decorations in the biggest mall I can find. I'm going to look at clothes, books, microwaves, pots and pans, boots, perfume, skin lotions, jewelry, candy, hats, scarves, and apple computers I'm not going to buy.

I have decided I don't feel like buying any xmas gifts this year. That's one of the really nice things about being me—I act like I was raised by wolves and I don't care. I'll hold up traffic as I stroll slowly through the crowds rushing desperately to find that essential gift. I'm blocking traffic. I'll actually listen to the elevator music Christmas carols through all the noise, to make sure I get just the right one stuck in my head. After all, it has to last me till New Years Eve.

I'm finally going to have my picture taken on Santa's lap. I don't care if I break his leg, because I'm going to act like I'm strangling him and yell "Where's my pony!!" At least my nose won't be running. I'll post it.

I'm going to stay a long time. I may even eat by the inside window of a restaurant so I can watch Christmas life go by with a summery salad and nice glass of wine. Before I leave, I'll call my neighbors to ask them over for a glass of wine, so we can all relax. I plan to encourage attainment of full Christmas tree induced comas before we call it a night.

God, I love Christmas.

The tree!

2009-12-16T19:23:00.001-05:00

The Scene of the Crime

The Engineer of the Plot and Stylist
We only had two glasses of champagne before we got the decorations out of the attic…

The Accomplice

No really…

2009-12-16T19:03:00.000-05:00

FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful

Xmas tree

2009-12-09T12:08:00.000-05:00

Yay! I've got a xmas tree! And I grew it myself!

A cute little six inch pine tree appeared in my garden one day. I couldn't pull it out or cut it down. It wasn't hurting anything. The next year I thought, "It will be a problem some day, but it's too cute right now." Then it was four feet high and a little too big for me to move and looked just like a perfect xmas tree. So I decided to let it grow another year and bring it in for xmas. That year it snowed too early and there was absolutely no chance of digging into the snow drift to cut it. Before I knew it, it was huge, blocking the sun to my bright orange azaleas and flutterby rose bush. I decided I'd cut it this summer—which seemed like a waste when I could use the top 1/4 for a xmas tree. Yesterday I finally did it.

Today I can't move one side of my body due to sore ribs, but I have the niftiest xmas tree ever. It's the biggest one I've ever had—and the strangest. What I couldn't see from the ground is that the trunk splits and it has two tops. I'll have to borrow an extra star. It is quite lopsided, but you can smell it all over the house. Even the wreaths I made for some friends make a whole house smell great. I have the most excellent led bulbs that look like the old-fashioned kind, but don't get hot.

It's one of those things that I just want to sit and stare at. I haven't decorated it yet, but I stayed up late last night hypnotized by the lights. I can't tell you the joy of putting up an aromatic, crooked xmas tree with no one telling you the lights aren't even or that you missed a spot. Glorious. I'm not going to decorate it until my friends come over for wine.

Mind over matter

2009-12-02T14:59:00.000-05:00

I'm still eating out! I haven't prepared any food since November 22nd. Having lots of good friends who remember your Birthday can be fattening! Although I did post it on my facebook ten days in advance to make sure no one was inconvenience with rush shopping. Hmmmn…maybe that's an important piece of this weight loss puzzle?

Let's see:

Crab cakes, salad, Israeli couscous with vegetables, sauce and bacon, rosemary scallops, wine and chocolate cake. Lots of chocolate cake

Scallops, wild rice, green beans, wine and I was feeling so virtuous after such a healthy meal, that I skipped the cake

Two restaurant doggie bags. Does that count as eating out? I didn't shop or cook—it does!

Full Thanksgiving dinner. Trail mix, turkey, potatoes, stuffing, gravy, carrots, broccoli, cranberry sauce and wine.

Ditto

Six course Italian dinner with, antipasti and bruschetta, escargot in portabello mushrooms, breaded and fried, lasagna, veal stuffed tortellini, roasted prime rib of pork, fragole flambé, four wines and Limoncello. Luckily I walked.

Half lobster with scallops on wild rice with sherry sauce, asparagus, and a huge dish of pistachio gelato

Today it's doggy bag

I don't know if anyone is going to take me out to eat tomorrow night. I hope so because I am quickly becoming accustomed to this life. Friday I'm going away for the weekend and I don't think they'll make me cook, so I just have to line something up for Sunday night at this point.

Now this is the really good part. I've lost ten pounds in the last three weeks. I think it's all the healthy food that I don't cook at home. There's a little bit of gym in there, but with a hurt knee, I'm pretty feeble on the elliptical. I'm SURE the real force behind the weight loss was that, sensing impending fat doom, I watched the last three episodes of The Biggest Loser twice. I don't care how wildly you scoff. You can just die laughing!

Birthday

2009-11-24T14:11:00.000-05:00

It's my birthday and I haven't had time to write in blogs for weeks. Today I'm doing whatever I want. I got a birthday card that said; "I'm glad you were born." Now that's a sentiment.

I've been taken out to dinner so many times this week that I don't think I'm going to be able to make my way through all the doggie bags I've been eating for breakfast. Even the idea of chocolate cake is starting to become a little boring. That's when you know I've celebrated too much. But a girl only turns 47 once in her lifetime…

I'm going to buy myself an electric can opener and a bathroom scale. I need the can opener for arthritis and I wore my old bathroom scale out! Go figure. I'm going to make some jewelry too, and paint origami lotus flowers with glow-in-the-dark paint—it seemed like a good idea last night around 2 am. Hee, hee!

I wonder if I should buy myself a TV again. The last time I did I wanted a nice digital lcd. So I saved up all my funny money and went off to buy one. Brought home a good deal. It was perfect. I liked the look, the picture was amazing, it was the right size for the room, I even liked the remote. I didn't actually make popcorn, but that would have completed the atmosphere. I looked at it for hours and I couldn't find anything I wanted to watch. Now Bruce Sprinsteen could have said that better than I just did, but long story short—I returned it. It was a little awkward returning it when they asked for the reason. I'm finding that if there's a show I want to watch I can get it on my computer. I guess I'm just used to books on tape.

Spill of the Day

2009-11-02T15:02:00.000-05:00

To all my loyal Spill of the day followers: I am so grateful for your support and encouragement. Due to the volume of followers—and spills, I am moving this feature to a new twitter account so that I am not making multiple postings to Facebook, blog and webpage.

I will post the twitter account address as soon as I figure out what it is!

Frozen Moments

2009-11-02T13:30:00.002-05:00

I feel like I want to write about frozen moments. My head has been swimming with them lately. I think my twentieth birthday is in the top ten. I can't really number them because they each sum up an era.

My mother had died the week before and I was stunned, so my friend Jane's family threw me a birthday party. They had a huge family. Crunching the numbers in my head, I come up with 12, but I think I'm missing a brother who was religious and living in Utah, that I never met. The household was loosely ordered with everyone coming and going as they wished. An elegant but unnoticed microcosm—no fighting that I ever saw, and amazingly, everyone helped with the work. Three people cooked. This included a number of packages of hamburger helper, someone made jugs of koolaid, got pitchers of water, set the table, yelled that dinner was served and started passing huge bowls.

After, they brought me a cake and Matthew, who was probably four or five back then, gave me a little necklace with a star in the middle. I still have it even though the gold wore off a long time ago from constant wear. I remember sitting at the head of the table with all those warm people facing me. I barely managed not to cry because it meant so much to me. All this was just the prelude to the moment.

Jane lived in the top floor of a three decker on Innman Square in Cambridge. Legal Seafood started there. Two guys and bench tables. When we were too broke for anything else, we'd go over and get pints and quarts of fish chowder in cardboard containers to eat at Jane's apartment. That was another place where friends and family passed through at any hour. Need a friend–find a friend. Need a bed–find a bed. Need a meal–find a meal. Cooked brownies–bring em over. Plan an expedition–let's all go. Man, do I ever miss that. Now, I have to make an appointment if I want to have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine with someone.

A few Sundays, we went to Irish brunch at the Plough and Stars. There was music and a boiled Irish dinner. The place was such a dive, that on occasion, you might have to wait for junkies to get out of the bathroom. I loved going there. Very homey. The drinking age was still 18 so we used to go to the Innman Square Men's Bar too. It was nifty. The booths had hanging lamps over the tables and high backs. The bartender was a huge, bald guy who looked scarier than anyone I've ever seen, but he handed over the drinks with a wink and a smile. I think the name of the Band I loved was the Travis Shook Band, but I'm not sure. They later became the Incredible Casuals and were the reason for many blissful hours dancing in the Grog when I moved up to Newburyport.

OK. Here's the moment. Sitting at a worn wooden table in a booth, beers in hand, and the hanging lamp shining a circle just large enough to include all our faces, someone asked "How old are you?"

I answered; "twenty. How old are you?"

"Twenty-four."

Then around the table: "Twenty-six."

"Twenty-four."

"Twenty-five."

And at that moment—THE moment. I was confident that I would never be THAT old.

Live through that…

Indian Summer

2009-10-21T11:09:00.000-04:00

I opened the door this morning to be enveloped in the smell of autumn leaves. Half fallen—half fresh and fluttering. I feel like I'm swimming in the air. I can't tell where my skin ends and the air begins. Breathing it is effortless. The sun is so soft, it feels like a warm hand on my arm. It took me an hour in a patch of sun to drink my coffee this morning. All the nasty, noisy birds are gone. I miss the mourning doves, crows and hummingbirds. I feed the crows, so I bet my neighbors are glad most of those are gone. I feed the hummingbirds too and I've held one in my hand twice. Another time one got into my studio. I think the females can actually be friendly. Maybe I'm nuts.

If I want to hang onto a little bit more summer I've only got two hours on the other side of the house in the early afternoon. Maybe I'll go out then and read or paint.

I stayed up till three last night. I didn't wake up till nine so I feel fine. I kept having all these wonderful ideas about things I could do before I went to bed. Like watching "Lie to Me" on my computer. Changing all my online accounts to a different charge card number. Hunted the house for a specific piece of cardboard I just had and misplaced. It just kinda got away from me. I exercised my almost super-human powers of self control by not trying out the new idea I had for doing my nails or look for sealing wax, which I decided is a perfect way to seal the packages from my store. Seems sort of silly now…

spill of two days

2009-10-03T09:21:00.000-04:00

Friday, October 2 2009 -6:45 PM Someone left me a bag of big juicy tomatoes. Turkey sandwich. You do the math

Saturday, October 3, 2009 -7:39 AM Truly tragic spill. Got off to an early start and shoveled dirty kitty litter into my sneaker.

spill of the day

2009-10-02T12:15:00.001-04:00

I thought I was going to have to let everybody down yesterday, but painting late at night, I dropped a 5" x 7" oil painting which landed face down on my pants and then the rug and gouged part of the picture out.

spill of the day

2009-09-30T12:18:00.000-04:00

Wednesday, September 30, 2009 -7:39 AM: Dribbled foamy toothpaste on myself while trying to get my front teeth kissably white. I wasn't sure if this qualified as a spill, but I did have to change my shirt, so I'm going with it. Maybe I'll spill something better later. Is kissably a word?

The spill of the day

2009-09-29T19:54:00.000-04:00

Today, in a selfless attempt to foster goodwill toward all mankind and in the interest of promoting a safer, happier, lifestyle for others with my cautionary tale, I present a new forum here on my blog:

The Spill of the Day!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009 -8:45 AM: Spilled a full bottle of medication with a loose cap from the cupboard into a strategically placed cup of hot coffee (with cream, although I don't believe that contributed to the incident). My main concern was the coffee, because I'm sure the pharmacist will say "No problem. Let me replace that for you free." But seriously—the coffee did taste a little funny after that…

Learn something new every day

2009-09-28T12:49:00.000-04:00

OK. So there I was working away on my computer with my faithful cup of coffee by my side, the cat sleeping on the desk and a little cup of Cheerios left over from breakfast. I just leave them there and grab bits. Unfortunately, reaching for another bunch of Cheerios, I stuck my hand into the coffee cup instead. Sigh…I mean who hasn't done that? I went out to the kitchen for paper towels to clean up the mess and when I came back the cat was fishing Cheerios out of the other cup with her paw and eating them with more gusto than she's ever shown for salmon treats. Who knew? Cats are sneaky.

Now I can't eat Cheerios without someone staring at me…

Fall Days and (Guilty?) Thoughts

2009-09-08T13:47:00.001-04:00

Today I have my slippers on. It's chilly in my little victorian house and warm outside. It won't warm up until the sun hits the front of the house where I'm typing this in my office, so I'm going out soon. It's lovely to have this beautiful, perfect fall weather after the summer that never was. I watched a NOVA movie about global warming and they said the gulf stream isn't returning the cold water current back to the equator because the arctic isn't cold enough anymore. Could we all just get out there and paddle?

O.K. I'm just going to go ahead and say it. My Mother ruined my life. She wouldn't let me be a groupie, which was a perfectly valid career choice when I was twelve. Her lack of foresight condemned me to a life of having to earn a living, ride coach and watch other people be rich and famous for no reason. By the time I was eighteen there were no more openings for professional groupies and this tragedy has colored my whole existence.

I'm not even guilty about that thought.

I'm struggling with a guilty pleasure, so why not humiliate myself to the whole world and get it over with?

I have a crush on a rock star. Not "George Clooney is cute" but a crush like I used to have in high school. Where does this come from? How does it happen? I'm smart. Who am I talking to now? What purpose would fantasy serve?

As I have already said, after a certain age, any show of passion becomes an object of ridicule—even to others my own age. So there, is the guilt in my guilty pleasure. It has to be hidden at all costs. You'll notice I didn't tell you who is the object of my impossible affection.

I saw my rock star on tv. You couldn't hear him sing because of the screaming fans. I listened to them and said to myself: "What do they want?" They don't care about his singing—I mean, here's their chance to worship him and they're screaming in church. He's just cute. Do they think he'll pull them up out of the crowd to dance with him the way Bruce Springsteen did to Courtney Cox in some old commercial for I can't remember what? Is he going to notice them and fall in love? What?! I don't get it. Somebody please tell me.

Hero worship has always been a part of being human. It evolved from an unsophisticated brave hunter, admiration of the ability to overcome the fear of the unknown, superstition's spiritual leader, Greek mythology, doer of heroic deeds, worship of the dead hero, to ancestors, legends. "More than a man—less than a god."

Now…do we have romantic heros? Do we worship because our heros are better than us? Can we claim to follow their virtuous lead? JFK and Martin Luther King JR were philanderers. Do we forgive their misdeeds because they are above ordinary constraints? Whole countries can worship power. The names Napoleon and Hitler come to mind. Do we claim things beautiful or powerful as our own? Vicarious achievement? After all, we exist only as egocentric beings and I haven't had much luck vanquishing evil doers lately. I can't even lose ten pounds. Are we worshipping beauty? There's a lot of 'super' things going on today. Super heros, super rich, super star, super model, super market. No wait, scratch that last one. Is our worship the narcotic that sends them to rehab? Does the cult of culture reduce us to lemmings? Does our hero have a sandwich named after him? I have often wondered; Reuben who?

All I know is that for me, it involves suspending reality. That's what you're supposed to do at a good movie. Maybe it's a vacation from real life. I don't know. I'm going to figure it out. Then I'm going to become rich and famous due to the acclaim for my book. I've already got a really good title:

Rainy Day

2009-08-29T15:24:00.001-04:00

Sometimes rainy days make it easier to work. Don't want to go anywhere.

I'm working on goofy stuff to put on my etsy store. Everything else in the store has been very serious and sophisticated. People will be surprised to see something silly in there.

I'm trying to teach myself how to scale down my paintings and make smaller ones. I never planned to, but the time has come to face the fact, that I have to sell them online. They're not selling in stores anymore and all the good galleries are booking one and a half to two years in advance.

I'm actually considering moving to a different part of the country. It's cheaper to live in most other states and just because I think snow is beautiful—doesn't mean I have to shovel it. Someplace on a lake. I always thought I had to be by the ocean. I used to just lay in the sun and tan, jump in the waves, go anywhere in any kind of boat and fish. Now I think of skin cancer, undertows, rip tides, rogue waves, bad winds, worms in the fish, pollution and sharks when I swim at night or in a kayak.

I was having, an admittedly weird, talk with a friend about where I would like my ashes scattered when I'm dead. I didn't feel a doubt. The only place for me was the lake where I spent my summers as a kid.

It was a big, cold, clear, spring fed lake. As clear as any water I've seen and as smooth as glass in the morning, with fog lifting off it. There were gorgeous sunsets over Mt. Washington. There was a giant old abandoned yellow hotel falling into disrepair overlooking one end of the lake. Like a ghost. The town had an orange and turquoise Howard Johnson's by the drawbridge, where you could get the all-important ice creams. A tacky gift shop. A combination grocery and liquor store with a slamming screen door, Elmer Plumber's marina, which was also the gas station and a school with a playground that had a TALL slide, REAL jungle gyms and REAL swings with chains and wooden seats. The kind that are considered deadly for today's little darlins' who are too stupid to duck.

A dairy truck came down the path to our camp and my Mother would buy milk and light cream for her ever-present cup of coffee. A Nissan truck would come too and she'd get bread, powdered donuts and cupcakes with frosting on top about an inch high.

When we wanted drinking water we'd go to a path by the side of the road and walk a little way down a rock path to an old wooden barrel buried in the ground. It was surrounded by moss and was chilly. You'd lift the top off the barrel and it was overflowing with cold spring water. There was a big metal dipper there and we HAD to drink out of the dipper before we filled our water bottles. It was magic.

We had a campfire every night or went to someone else's. My Dad's friends camped there too so the parental units were often happy and silly, which wasn't standard procedure. It was so easy to make friends there. You'd figure out somebody's name and start hanging around with them. There was a dumpy little store with white-bearded Mr Whitney sitting behind the counter, where we could take our Sunday dime and buy two candy bars. There was a dumpy wooden rec. hall with booths, a juke box and two pinball machines. I remember San Franciscan Nights, Red Rubber Ball, Light my fire, the beach boys. Baby it's You was my favorite. I can still sing it. There were always fascinating older kids in there, dancing or goofing around figuring out how to get beer. If it wasn't swimming weather, that's where I wanted to be. I couldn't figure out how the hell people got quarters for pinball machines. Sometimes this boy Michael Terrill from Aroostook County Maine would let me play the last pinball. He was my first boyfriend. He just said he was my boy friend. We held hands but we didn't even get a kiss in. A few years later when he was sixteen or so, he came back with his wife and baby.

Dad had a little Sprite sailboat. You could zip down the lake in it, but never get back without paddling, scratching your butt on the fiberglass floor and getting a sunburn. Later we got the most beautiful motor boat. Driving it was heaven and freedom. I met a boy named Christopher, when my sister and I were going under the drawbridge in that boat and he and his friend Barry were standing on old bridge pilings with their thumbs out for a ride. That is frozen in my memory forever. The sun, the breeze, the chill under the bridge, the smell of water and gas, hoping we wouldn't hit something with the outboard motor, the water lapping, the way the boat tips when someone gets in and those two cute guys. Barry was all charm and playing up to my sister from the start. Christopher and I just smiled at each other trying to make conversation. I have a lot of frozen moments, but if I ever forgot this one, I would be somebody else. One of my favorite memories. We went on some dates because my mother wouldn't let my sister go out with Barry unless they took me with them. One time we went to the first MacDonalds I had ever seen and I got french fries. Christopher and I dated a little later when I graduated from college and coincidentally ended up working with some of his friends.

I dated a another guy I met at the lake, who will remain nameless, for two years. He was 'tough' because he smoked cigarettes and drank beer and had an old white mustang and a 'gang' of friends who were funny and loud. It was so much fun and he was nicer to me than any other person has been in my whole life. I broke up with him when I started college because his dad carried a gun, one of his uncles that lived with them ran off to get away from gambling debts and his other uncle was 'disappeared' for who know what reason. He married a neighborhood girl and had kids. Hope he's happy.

I won't go back to the lake. I thought about it a few times, but I don't want to see it surrounded by rich houses, condos and the lake churning like a washing machine with hundreds of boats and jet skis. I'm sure someone has stolen the dipper in the spring, broken the barrel and filled it with garbage. There's probably an expensive restaurant by the bridge, a CVS, a Richdale and a playground with sawdust under the four foot high plastic slide—and canvas swings.

Baby pandas

2009-08-22T17:42:00.000-04:00

I have the Pandacam on my desktop. Go see Bai Yun's latest baby. They start out so tiny and when they get bigger the mama hugs them and plays with them.

http://www.sandiegozoo.org/pandacam/index.html

Look at this picture of Zhen Zhen, the last baby girl, trying to make a run for it!

Making connections

2009-08-22T15:28:00.002-04:00

I just found the Etsy shop for my friend Erin. It is here:

http://www.everyheartcrafts.etsy.com

It's funny. Two artists using the same studio, same clay, same kiln; yet she makes delicate little leaves and charms for her jewelry and jewelry-making classes, and I make camping trailers for birds and evil baby faces.

She's really nice, but… doesn't what she makes sound a little odd to you?

It's gotten so dark here it is like nightfall. Spooky thunderstorm. I don't feel like turning my computer off so I'll probably get smited. The gods laughed.

I am filled with creepy horror anyway. I'm living with Stuart Little. Every night I find the cat meowing and chasing a field mouse skittering all over the house. She doesn't want to catch it mind you; she's just playing. I don't know where it lives or what it is wrecking. The house is really dirty so I had been thinking it would be easier to move anyway.

Damn it! damn it! damn it!

2009-08-22T15:28:00.001-04:00

I think I'm going to sign up for a few more accounts. A couple of emails, a blog or three, facebook, photobucket, you tube, maybe twitter—then I can have at least ten more frickin passwords I can't find. Gawd! Now I don't feel like writing anything

This is my favorite painting

2009-08-19T00:40:00.000-04:00

I don't think I'll ever sell it. It took me so long to do that I even painted the dust on the table. The title is Feathers, lucky rocks and a plastic baby. I can't sell my self portrait either—for obvious reasons.

Etsy Store

2009-08-19T00:30:00.000-04:00

So, I made an etsy store to sell all the stuff that I make. Oddly, my store doesn't seem to have a theme. How do you relate camping trailers for birds and tiaras anyway?

Does that mean anything? Do I have a theme?

It is here: http://andersoncrafts.etsy.com

My Paintings

2009-07-24T22:46:00.001-04:00

I've decided to put my paintings on this blog. I want to see how they look in the order I paint them. On a website I am tempted to keep the paintings that have already sold. Trophies I guess. I think nostalgia has always been very bad for me.

I've been slapped in the face a number of times recently, by the realization that after a certain age, being happy & silly or feeling passionate about anything, the way I always have makes me an object of ridicule. I don't think my friends mind, but man, the rest of the world treats me like a pinball. I don't want to see myself from the outside. I'm in here.

The paintings are coming soon.

Sunny Saturday

2009-07-24T22:45:00.000-04:00

It's so beautiful out today and I have that horrible 'locked in the house until I get my work done' feeling. Watching all the things I'd like to do go by. I can't drive anyway with no car insurance. The dastardly bastards at the insurance company unceremoniously suspend service if you don't make their silly little payments! What kind of dogs would resort to that kind of gutter mentality? Just as well, I don't have an inspection sticker anyway…

I'm making pottery for stores to tide me over until people stop being scared and buy paintings again. Feels like a long side trip. Better than a stick in the eye. I'm going to put it on my web site this week.

There are baby hummingbirds at the feeder. They're fat and fluffy. Almost as big as the adults. It doesn't seem possible, —like picking up a tiny kitten and it's too light to be real.