Are you ready for April Fools day?

I'd like to suggest a discreetly placed elastic band around the kitchen faucet sprayer. Trust me…

I need objective opinions

Help! I need your opinion. I'm entering the biggest art show ever and I can't decide which paintings I want to show them as my entry. Will you please let me know the top three in your opinion?

Click on the kid to see the paintings

Thanks!

Has this ever happened to you?

I was up late last night spring cleaning. I 'forgot' the last two years; so now it's a really big job consisting of taking everything out of a room, washing everything, throwing about a third away and then putting it back in. I think it's going to take me a week if I do the cellar. It seems kind of dumb to have empty shelves, but I've got a thing about clean closets. My rooms might be messy, but you could eat in the closets—although I don't want to give the impression that I do that—because I don't. I digress:

I got up tired and I wanted that cup of coffee. I put the coffee in the filter and grabbed the jug of water out of the fridge. It seemed lighter than I remembered, but who keeps track of stuff like that? Right? I poured it in the coffee maker and realized it was the milk that I had just poured in there. Crap! I poured the milk right back out again into a cup because I needed it for the coffee, causing the coffee grinds in the front of the coffee maker to pour out at the same time, into the milk and all over the counter and sink and floor.

Now I really NEED the cup of coffee so I poured the milk through a strainer, put on the teapot and used a Melita filter to make the cup of coffee. It didn't taste right. Not enough milk either. Blah. No joy.

Now it's really late for lunch and I'm hungry, but I'm afraid to go back in there. Anything could happen. Someone could get hurt. It's all fun and games until you put your eye out with a sandwich or something…

Monsoon is here

Wow! We're having a northeaster and we've had 10" inches of rain since yesterday. At least it's nice and warm. I didn't even realize there was a problem until my neighbor called me to make sure everything was alright at my place. I checked the attic and the cellar, which is always a good idea in a really old house and everything was fine. I went out to the gym and to buy some milk and it was like a ghost town. Kind of nifty.

There were new lakefront properties in my neighborhood and the water was running down the street so fast there were rapids cause the street drains popped their covers. The police put up roadblocks down by the river and on my street. My friend Diane showed up to use my computer. Her twin eight year old girls and I took a toy kayak and a plastic sled and slid down the rapids to the bottom of the hill in the dark. We screamed and laughed our asses off. Problem was, that when we got to the bottom, the sled didn't float and toy kayaks don't really keep you dry anyway. So all three of us got in trouble—but when we went out, Diane said; "Wear your boots!" She didn't say a word about not going swimming.

Ha, ha Diane! You KNOW better than to let your kids play with me!

Excellent photos to follow! Right now my camera and Simms card are opened up on the table drying…

Life

Life is short—use your xmas lights

Oooops!

Today was a nice day. I got up late. Happy to be rid of the worst cold in human history; I hung around the house, played on the computer, sent email, packed up some stuff I sold in my store.

Toward the end of the afternoon I realized that I had better hurry out to the post office before it closed. I grabbed the packages, my camera, a prescription, library books and the shopping list. I am a master of multitasking. Made it to the PO on time, dropped off the books, picked up the prescription and stopped to take photos of a little old building I noticed last week that I want to paint. While I was walking up and down the side of the road trying to get just the right angle, I had to be careful not to drag my feet because I was getting sand in my slippers—Oh crap!!!! I forgot to put my shoes on!

Now, at least they're not bunny slippers, but they are faux leopard fur and I was wearing bright red fluffy slipper-socks. The whole ensemble was a little attention getting. Aaaargh! Why oh why didn't I go to the grocery store first? Now I KNOW I look like an escapee from some type of institution, I'm too far from home to go back for my shoes and it's a huge grocery store where I always run into people I know.

At least everybody I passed smiled at me today…