It time! Today is the day I luxuriate in window shopping amid the bright lights and tacky decorations in the biggest mall I can find. I'm going to look at clothes, books, microwaves, pots and pans, boots, perfume, skin lotions, jewelry, candy, hats, scarves, and apple computers I'm not going to buy.
I have decided I don't feel like buying any xmas gifts this year. That's one of the really nice things about being me—I act like I was raised by wolves and I don't care. I'll hold up traffic as I stroll slowly through the crowds rushing desperately to find that essential gift. I'm blocking traffic. I'll actually listen to the elevator music Christmas carols through all the noise, to make sure I get just the right one stuck in my head. After all, it has to last me till New Years Eve.
I'm finally going to have my picture taken on Santa's lap. I don't care if I break his leg, because I'm going to act like I'm strangling him and yell "Where's my pony!!" At least my nose won't be running. I'll post it.
I'm going to stay a long time. I may even eat by the inside window of a restaurant so I can watch Christmas life go by with a summery salad and nice glass of wine. Before I leave, I'll call my neighbors to ask them over for a glass of wine, so we can all relax. I plan to encourage attainment of full Christmas tree induced comas before we call it a night.
God, I love Christmas.
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