Who has holiday traditions? Family traditions, parties, xmas trees, food, dress, gifts, songs—it goes on and on. Most of my traditions are secret. Actually, in my life, holidays are discretionary. Am I in the mood? Do I want a xmas tree? How many people will be at my house in the days before and following the holiday? I'm single, so my holidays are spent at other people's dinners and parties. Who's going to be there? What's for dinner? I have felt very sad driving home from yet another xmas eve party all by myself, but that's about it. I love driving in the snow and I've seen some very unusual things on that drive home—but that's pretty much a whole book.
In Massachusetts, we have a tradition that is genuinely dear to my heart. I won't miss a second of it. During that drive to my holiday destination, at noon, the radio stations—ALL the radio stations play "Alice's Restaurant Massacree" one of Arlo Guthrie's most memorable works. For those of you not familiar with the song, it is over eighteen minutes long and is a rambling story about Thanksgiving dinner at Alice's, in Stockbridge MA, including Arlo Guthrie's Thanksgiving day, 1965 arrest —for littering. Luckily, officer Obie was able to apprehend the suspects and photograph the unholy abomination. Unfortunately, the stack of 8" x 10" black and white glossy photos, with details in notation were wasted, because the judge happened to be blind. However, that's not the punch line. Fifty dollars later and back home in New York, Arlo reported to the induction center with his draft notice, where he was determined to be too immoral to go to Vietnam to kill men, women and children, due to his arrest record.
It will make you laugh whether you want to or not. I want to know; do they play the song where you live?
Later it was rumored to be the 18 1/2 minute gap in Nixon's white house tapes…
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